Nature &Science

A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a demonstration for his class. He took two earth worms and in front of the class he did the following:
He dropped the first worm into a beaker of water where it dropped to the bottom and wriggled about. He dropped the second worm into a beaker of Ethyl alchohol and it immediately shriveled up and died. He asked the class if  anyone knew what this demonstration was intended to show them. A boy in the second row immediately shot his arm up and, when called on said: "You're showing us that if you drink alcohol, you won't have worms."

 A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black lab, the lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."
 
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The  vet answers, "$650."
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
 "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."
 
Übersetzungshinweise:
Cat Scan = Computertomographie
Lab = kurz für Labradorhund
Lab test = Labortest

World News

>
> 1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport
> hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
>
> 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the
> face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans
> off each other's head.
>
> 3. A company trying to continue its five year perfect safety record showed
> its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the
> job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory
> industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty five workers suffered
> minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others
> fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling
> off a chair while watching the film.
>
> 4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons,
> setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
>
> 5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by
> the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the
> bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
>
> 6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book
> about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250 page manuscript to be
> copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when
> a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
>
> 7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later
> accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out
> for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police
> officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the
> courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
>
> 8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
> metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
> machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
> pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling
> the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
> confessed.
>
> 9. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand
> over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the
> police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was
> arrested.
>
> 10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a
> steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped
> aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.